Tigers Away Days 

Intro by Ede

A little over 11 years ago now, it was, I'm afraid, blatantly obvious that Hull City AFC were, to coin a phrase, f*****g useless.  It was therefore unanimously decided by that the only way of actually ever being able to get ANY enjoyment from a Tigers away game was to spend the weekend away.  This had the effect of making the actual "football" (and I use that term loosely) element only a very small part of a weekend, freeing up the rest of the weekend for much more enjoyable activities.

Such activities are of course easily categorised into:

1.  Drinking.
2.  Drink related shannegans.

and that's it.

And so it came to pass that in 1997, it was decided that we would have a weekend away on the first away fixture of the new season, regardless of where it was.

In 1997 the FA computer came up with..........Mansfield.  Yes, a town fully 55 minutes down the road.  Not to be deterred we did it anyway, persuading our other halves (if we had them back then.....oh those were the days) that
it was indeed necessary to go away for the weekend for such an arduous journey.

I will not repeat the details of what ensued, as this is repeated elsewhere on this website, but needless to say the fun that was had was sufficient to make this an annual event....and to be honest, any trip that can produce a now legendary experience that is "the sack wash" was always going to be repeated.  If you have not had one, call Fred....he is the man (allegedly).

And so we continue the tradition.  The football is slightly better these days (but we have still only managed to witness one win in 10 attempts - thereby justifying the weekend away, as frankly if you get dicked 6-0, it really doesn't matter when you've been drinking for the best part of twenty four hours, have shown various parts of your body to various people of varying sexes and have danced like a loon for hours on end (amongst other things)).

Apart from anything else, the tradition makes the announcement of the seasons fixtures even more sweet than usual (ie it just being great to be able to have footy chats again after a summer of w**k, sorry cricket.


COOOME ON YOU UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLL

To see what's in store, here's a peep into the Past...........

9th August 1997
Drinking venue - Bolsover, Opponents - Mansfield.
   Dodgy boozers with no furnishings.
   Freds mysteriously broken shoe buckle.
   The original "sack wash"
   Sick in bin (Mr Brigham).
   That pub in Mansfield (complete with Tim Wilby)- packed and cheering in
   every City Coach.
   Trevitts Ears.
   The hottest day in the world............ever (leading to rivers of
   sweat)
   A sending off for trying too hard.
   Result - Lost 2-0 - it soon became clear that Hateley's revolution was
   not to be.

8th August 1998
Drinking venue and Opponents - Rotherham (click here for pics)
A truly classic weekend...where to start.....mmmmm
   Travellers !!
   Pouring Fred in to a taxi VERY early doors after he'd earlier thrown
   gauntlet down to H.
   The Zone (or rather not getting in The Zone due to blatent pissing immediately outside)
   Travellers "disco", complete with "wicked" swearing DJ...."I'm in the
   mood for....."
   Pinballing across dancefloor, oblivious to millions of daggers.
   Freds sick hidden under T Shirt
   Smelly Flag
   Broken glass at breakfast
   "Your Early"
   Hillsborough re-created - Sick
   Melted Welly
   Early euphoria of a D'Auria goal after 5 mins
   The inevitable result - Lost 3-1 (a pattern emerges).

21st August 1999
Drinking venue and Opponents - Cheltenham
Another classic, this time involving tents.
   Ede's 'short cut' to Cheltenham resulting in additional 5 hours in car.
   The nicest people and boozers in the world...........ever.
   "I don't need you, that's what I don't need" - followed by Freds
   giggles, which of course couldn't be heard in a tent!
   Matey next door making brews after we'd kept him up all night...what a
   guy.
   That Really Really rough pub near ground (complete with dog with broken
   leg and alcoholic landlord).
   Jim staying in car as it was so rough they made us some dinner (gratis
   of course).
   "MaCauley"
   That Jason Harris miss.
   Result (sigh) - Lost 1-0 (debatable penalty midst).

12 August 2000
Drinking venue and Opponents - Blackpool
Again, tents were used due to every B&B in Blackpool being a complete
sh**hole.
   Struggling to get in to pubs following my insistence in telling bouncers
   we were from Hull.
   Barricaded in Tower ballroom whilst it all went off outside (whilst
   Briggsy tried in vain to gain entry).
   Taking over Linekers Dancefloor (which we were later informed was the
   place to meet Blackpool's Boys!)
   Late night "curry" (in a disco-restaurant).
   Tinnys sick in tent "foyer" - the last two items having some connection,
   I feel.
   The worst ground in the world................. ever.
   Result - Lost 3-1 (which I still don't believe to this day)

11 August 2001
Drinking venue and Opponents - Exeter
   Cardage in lovely boozer near hotel before hitting town.
   Our very own taxi driver.
   Finding nobody in boozers until around 10.30pm
   Vodka Jelly consumed stylishly with fingers.
   Ede's "dancing" in Vodka Jelly pub.
   That birds Wig.
   Fred pouring beer on comatose bloke, who could easily have killed us all
   if woken.
   Late night food and posting it through letterboxes....nice.
   The five hour conversation on way home regarding the Queen Mother/Kentucky.
   Result - Won (yes, a win) 3-1.

17 August 2002
Drinking venue - Torquay,  Opponents - Exeter
   Palm trees on the Riviera.
   Extremely quite boozers.
   Nuns.
   Glowstick man, shamelessly outdanced in club.
   That greyhound that got nudged even though it was 25 lengths clear.
   Conversation in bookies...5-1 for Stuart Green to score first, he's a
   midfielder....Ok you can have 14-1.....
   Stuart Green scoring first.
   Angie Rowe's pants (or was that last year ?).
   "Why don't you just support someone else" - birds !!
   Lee Sharpe's only ever goal in League Division 4 (old money).
   Result - Lost 3-1.

16 August 2003
Drinking venue and Opponents - Oxford (click here for pics)
Another class weekend, the attendance being boosted by general lack of
staggages that year.
   The Head of The River - in a word,'Perfection.'
   Round of applause for taxi driver.
   The Thames (it was, wasn't it). - yes it was
   The perfect afternoon.
   Fireman's lifts at 5pm.
   Bottoms out at 5.10 pm.
   Quick turnaround and back out to face....
   ....Pink Pussies
   That dancefloor and HOW MANY laps?
   Avoiding confrontation by locals using the now patented "tickling your
   potential attacker" method.
   The look on the "potential attackers" face after being tickled.
   The £9 kebab.
   The much more reasonably priced "van"
   Porn....with kissing.
   Mart Wharrie in boozer.
   The Result....ahhhhhh who bloody cares we loved it (but for the record,
   we lost) !!

August 2004

Drinking venue Chester- Opponents - Wrexham.
   Eight pints by Five
  Matchstick card stakes
   Jim nearly barfing in boozer toilets after inhaling death smell eminating from one of cubicles (- you had to be there)
   Harry appearing from said cubicle, perhaps half a stone lighter (- I was there)
   Digs opposite bus depot resulting in 'white noise' all night long
   Brighams badge
   Ede with monk on.
   That extremely hard kid with the cap on
  Brigham finding a fiver
   The strange shitty smell in Jims room the next day and....
   .....Jim denying that he'd just had a shit, blaming the smell on Gareth.....
  ......Gareth being in our room at the time.
   City get a point!
  

August 2005

Drinking venue Warwick - Opponents Wolves ( click here for pics )
   A town full of curry houses, take aways and beauty salons, yet no people
   A steep hill
   Bogie eating at teatime.
   KLF on mobile phone.
   Leamington Spa being right next door
   Paying that student to get us nuts and stuff from the bar.
   The curry house which allowed pissed up blokes to order stuff from an imaginary 'George Streetcurry house Driffield' menu
   Pissing it down the next day.
   Shorts and sandles
   We lost again

August 2006

Drinking venue Worcester - Opponents WBA ( click here for pics )
   Looks of amazement at the fine array of 'gaffers' lining the bar upon arrival - still, it was friday afternoon
   Looks of amazement and horror at the stylish rooms on offer for just £20, yes £20
   Confirmation that locally brewed 'cyder' at 10%ABV is not big OR clever OR tasty.
   Discovering that its nearly 6pm when:.
   a) you're pissed b)you've not eaten c)you've just started 'killer' pool
   Horrible chicken 'food' in company of tramps
   Going back to digs and the looks of horror, amazement and trepidation at seeing the full array of the locals
   That Karaoke...the looks of horror, amazement, trepidation and disgust - spastics should be banned from singing
   'Images' ( 'nuff said )....
   ....well nearly - Beer at £1 a pint in funny glowing glasses - as if it needed any further benefits.
   .Crap drinks out of test-tubes
   Quality 80's club - from Kylie to The Jam - sweatyness is guaranteed - but no worries as there will be a nice warm shower in the morning!
  Kebab shop and being invited back to locals house for some weed on the grounds that he saw us dancing to said Jam track in said club...methinks not.
   Briggsy's ham-fisted attempts at remembering the lock code, despite only 4 numbers in the 1-10 sequence been completely worn off
   The looks of horror, amazement, trepidation, frustration and then disgust the next morning when the showers were cold...like I said just £20 per night
   AC/DC - Hells Bell
   Freds bleeding ears
   Wrong turning in West Bromwich leading to looks of horror, amazement, trepidation, frustration and then disgust at being magically transported to a suburb of India.
   John Harts....no, sod the football, as usual it was a mere detail.
   And for those wanting an increased accommodation budget next year...f**k off.....

August 2007

Drinking venue Rugby - Opponents Coventry ( click here for pics )
   Gareth being ready on time
   Arriving at digs for it to become apparent that t'internet is not always to be believed
   Arriving at digs and deciding that bookings would be higher if they had photo of receptionist online
   The Squirrel - officially the worlds smallest pub .
   ....made even smaller by the fact that dart board was in constant use hence ruling out half of seating area
   Beers at less than £2 a pint...
   Mixed Grill for £6.19....
   Decision that Wetherspoons are great

Harry 'rushing' back to digs

absolutely no 5 minute turnaround due to horrifying brown explosion
   Pink complete with roped entry ( 'nuff said )
   Fred asleep in Pink
   Ayres Rock being circled many many many times by Ede
   Jump Around
   Subway sandwiches at 3am...
   Placing chairs on beds at 3.15am
   Giggling in corridors at 3.18am
   Very smelly Room 1 in the morning
   Deciding that bookings at digs would be higher if they had photo of breakfast waitress online
   How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
   The worst ground in the world to get to....
   ...especially when you go to Highfield Road first and have to rely on dodgy locals to tell you you are miles away....I spit on Sat Nav....
   Going round 76 roundabouts, £10 parking, being told to move out of disabled parking despite there not being a sign anywhere....ooohhh my blood was boiling
   A Ziggy's new very strange friend
   The second strangest steward in history (that Ginger Afro bloke) second only to Melted Welly
   An unlikely point (which could of been three if Dean Marney wasn't a spaz) .

Wembley 2008

(click here as it's a special 'un)

Blackburn 22nd August 2008

Late start due to local constabulary sat in hospital all afternoon

Hotel near ground ala Rotherham

Cheap food & cricket on in hotel bar (where we should have stayed)

Long walk to 'city centre' via a few undesirable pubs full of inbreds, prams and local scumbags

Table football

Largest number of takeaway gaffs ever seen

Lots of empty bars

Eventually finding busy bar who shut bar after one pint

'liquers' night club

I'm going to murder your dog!

Followed by Fred's 2 point taekwondo kick to the head Vending machine selling beer - a must have at 3 in the morning

Recycled Gary Glitter gags

Early breakfast to enable room to be made for hundreds of City fans

It's like Wembley Way all over again 1 - 1 and a fantastic performance and third place.

See individual pages for more info.

many thanks to Ede for his memoirs - if you've got anything to add,email me